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Our close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome several challenges, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been repeatedly taken by surprise by others. Her partner ended their marriage, and it was an unexpected event. Many of her social circle vanished at that point, as they were focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her. She put in more effort to be my friend, probably understood more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, many in her circle vanished without her being knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she was an excellent employee, she departed unaware of the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, both of us left the workforce leading to more time together, however, I feel my position between us feels one-sided. I start topics of conversation and she changes the talk toward things she cares about. Politically, she has unyielding views. I try to suggest factchecking and different perspectives.

She is arranging a trip abroad I know well on several occasions even called home for a while. I attempted to provide insights, however, my input met with resistance. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her plans. I have returned from a month there and she wants to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate in this role that walks away without explanation, however, I feel she can understand the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is pulling back. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, yet this is not often the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for working things out takes courage and willingness for each of you.

Therapists recommend applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens when you talk. Aim for this to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. The second is to express how this makes you feel. This allows for no dispute here. Your feelings belong to you, after all. Finally involves requesting how you are both will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Consider she too has her own side, meaning you must to remain ready to listen to her. A helpful technique involves stating your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for a set time."

It's remarkably impactful to encourage understanding.

Closing Considerations

Your friend could ignore everything, since certain individuals cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a version of their life they cannot release since their identity is tied to it being the only thing familiar to them. This is difficult as there is no easy route in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might start out this way before reflecting your perspective. And should you don't achieve a fix, you'll have closure knowing you were open and direct.